Malik's Adventure at the Vet's Office
by Bunny on the Moon
Summary: ONESHOT, Semi!AU, implied yaoi. Malik gets a cat, and Isis makes him take it to get its shots. Hilarity ensues.


-snerk- Well, I originally wrote this for a post on my RP journal at the zomgcrackygo community on LiveJournal (I roleplay as OOC!Malik), but... XD I thought it would be funny enough to post here as a fanfic. You can see the original post at my roleplay LJ, sexayegyptass. :3 

_Summary_: Malik gets a cat and Isis makes him take it to get its shots. Hilarity ensues. Written in journal format. Semi-AU.

_Warnings_: Lots of language on Malik's part, and some references to sex.

**Malik's Adventure at the Vet's Office**

by PikaChan

_Friday, June 17th_

Yesterday, due to Isis' nagging, I took my cat to go get her shots and whatnot, just so Isis would shut up. I spend about half an hour arguing with Isis that Aisha will be fine in her little kitty carrier on my motocycle, but Isis is just afraid that I'll scare her to death, and suggests that I walk instead. Or maybe she doesn't have enough faith in me, and is afraid I'll crash and kill us both. Nor does she want me borrowing her car.

Meh!

So, even though I gave her "the eyes", Isis won in the end. It took me about an hour to get to the damn vet's office, because uh... it was severely misplaced. Alright, fine, I got lost. Shut up. So by the time I finally get there, my legs are sore, and Aisha's pissy because she got bumped around a lot in her kitty carrier.

Now, if I had been on my _motorcycle_ like I wanted to, we wouldn't have this problem.

So anyway... the line at the vet's office is LONG AS FUCK. There's about ten or so people in front of me, some with more than one pet! Ra. So, I go up to the reception desk and tell the DUMBASS LADY that I have an appointment for two o'clock. Her little mind must not be able to comprehend that my name is _Egyptian_, and I spend five minutes arguing with her that I am **NOT** Mariko Ishoku, but MALIK FUCKING ISHTAR. Meh! Dumb bitch. So, after she _finally_ gets my name right, she says that since there's quite a lot of traffic in the office today, my appointment got pushed back to five o'clock.

It is now half past two.

...bloody hell.

So, she suggests that I leave and come back later, but FUCK THAT SHIT! I spent a fucking HOUR trying to find this Ra-forsaken place, while WALKING, and there's no way in hell I'm going back and telling Isis that the appointment got pushed back. So, instead, I decide that I'm hungry, and go outside to see if there are any fast-food places around.

Right outside the vet's office, there are a few vending machines. Now, vending machines in Japan have been my saviors on countless occasions. Seriously, who would've thought you could get riceballs from a vending machine? Or cups of hot ramen? Badass.

...Unfortunately, these particular vending machines only sold Pocky. Well, that's fine by me! Though they only have chocolate and strawberry. ...Yeah, okay, whatever. At least it's food.

This must be the redneck part of Japan, like that one place in America... what was it... oh, right, West Texas.

So I put in the three hundred yen to get myself a box of strawberry Pocky. I push the button. Nothing happens. I push it again. Still nothing. ...THE FUCKING MACHINE ATE MY MONEY! DAMNIT, **I'M** THE HUNGRY ONE HERE! Anyway, I spent a few minutes kicking at said machine, trying to get it to either give my three hundred yen back, or give me my Pocky. Finally, pissed off, I pick Aisha's carrier up and go back inside the vet's office.

I tell the dumb bitch receptionist that the vending machine ate my money. She says there's nothing she can do about it, and tells me to write to the company who made the machine. There's an address on the side.

...fuck that shit.

So, pissed off and STILL hungry, I sit down in one of the few empty seats in the office, next to some smelly kid with a dog that looked older than my _sister_. Aisha's pissy because she's been stuck in this carrier for two hours, so I take her out and hold her in my lap. Then she gets all happy and is purring contently, then the little brat next to me reaches over and PETS her. Doesn't even ask, he just starts petting her with his greasy little hand.

I warn him that she doesn't like strangers, and will probably bite his hand off if he keeps doing that.

He doesn't stop.

Aisha gets pissed off, and claws his hand to shreds.

Kid takes a hint and stops petting her.

...I love Aisha. She's like my little attack kitty!

So nothing else happens in at least an hour. I have to suck it up and listen to kids whining about their pets being put to sleep, dogs barking, cats meowing, birds squacking, and all sorts of other fun shit. Then this other kid comes up to me, holding this... ball of fur... in his arms, and he says I'm pretty.

There's one thing that's gone right today.

I thank him, and then he asks me if I'm one of those ganguro girls that his mom told him so much about, with the tanned skin, bleached hair, and gaudy makeup. I tell him no, that I'm Egyptian, these are my natural hair and skin colors. And that I'm a guy.

Okay, so it was a little more violent than that, but I think he got the point.

So anyway... by this time it's a little bit past four o'clock. Good, only an hour to go. So I put Aisha back in her carrier (to which she strongly protested; I would have a huge gash on my arm had it not been for my armbands), and just sit there, muttering to myself that I'd rather be fucking Yami Yugi's brains out than sitting here in this cramped, stuffy office with kids squealing and bothering me and my kitten.

The clock now says five. Good, I should be called soon. I wait. I wait more. And, for a change of pace, I wait some more. It is now five-thirty. I start to get pissed. I suck it up and wait some more. A quarter to six. I go up to the bitch receptionist and ask her what the hell is taking so long.

"Oh, the vet is a little tied up right now. You'll be called momentarily."

Great. Peachy fucking keen. I was hoping to be home by the time Isis made dinner; looks like that idea's gone out the window now...

I sit back down, and wait. Right now, I'm so pissed off that I swear to Ra, the next kid who bothers me will find themselves on the business end of the Millenium Rod. Six o'clock. Ra be damned, FIFTEEN MINUTES IS **NOT** "MOMENTARILY"!

Fucking bitch.

My cellphone rings. It's Isis, wondering where the fuck I am. I tell her that I'm still in the vet's office. She asks if Aisha's gotten her shots yet. Then I fill her in on all of the shit that's happened with the receptionist, and all of the waiting, and all of that crazy shit.

So she asks if I'll be home in time for dinner.

Way to be supportive, Isis.

I tell her probably not, and she hangs up. It is now a quarter past six. At this point, I've resorted to counting the cracks in the ceiling. I was at 329 when my name was finally called. Also, it was about ten minutes until seven.

About damn time. I'd been waiting for... oh, about four and a half hours.

So I take Aisha into the vet's office, set her on the table thing, and sit down in the chair. Now that I'm finally here, I'm thinking that this'll get done and over with in no time, and I'll finally get to go home. Well, considering that _nothing else_ has gone right today, I end up sitting there for another twenty minutes before the vet finally comes in. He's a tall fat man with a considerable amount of stubble on his chin. Well, there went my hoping that he'd at least be hot.

I'm cranky and irritable, and tell him how much this place sucks, and that I shouldn't even have to pay for this appointment because of the hell I've been put through. He just grunts and nods, and starts checking Aisha's vitals. I tell him that she just showed up on our doorstep the other day, and that Isis thought that since she's a stray, and has obviously been in a lot of fights due to the scars on her body, that she'll need the typical pet shots.

The doctor just grunts again, takes a blood sample from Aisha (he must've given her anesthesia or something, because she didn't claw his eyes out for sticking that syringe in her), and leaves, telling me he's going to run some blood tests, and that he'll be back "momentarily".

Of course, "momentarily" meant half an hour.

It was about a quarter to eight when he came back in, and then he tells me that she doesn't even need shots; she's already had them.

"...You're shitting me."

No, he was not shitting me. And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I could feel my blood boiling as I signed the papers stating that I had been there for the appointment, and somehow I managed to keep from exploding as I shelled out five thousand yen for the visit, and I actually got out of the office without so much as a peep.

I held Aisha's kitty carrier up so she was eye-level with me, and I told her she was lucky I had already gotten attached to her, otherwise she'd be out on her furry little ass tonight. She meowed at me in response, almost as if she was saying "sorry". Then I told her that she was too cute for me to stay mad at her for long.

Ra, I love that cat.

So I start walking home, in a LITTLE bit of a better mood, but I feel like my stomach's about to start digesting itself, so I stop at a little noodle house and order some ramen with the remaining five hundred yen that I have. It was actually pretty good, considering it was only two hundred yen. So, now that I've been fed, this hellatious adventure can end.

It was almost nine when I finally got home, and I filled Isis in on what happened after I got off the phone with her. Then I tell her, in a cheerful manner, that I am _never going through that shit again_, the next time we get a pet, SHE can take it to get its shots.

_-end-_


End file.
